Letter of Instruction: What to Include (With a Sample You Can Copy)

What a Letter of Instruction Is, and What It Is Not

The point of the letter is to hold what does not belong in a will. Penn State Extension says a letter of instructions gives specific information to survivors or an agent about your preferences, and it lists final arrangements, account numbers, and the location of the will or trust as examples.

It is not a will. A will must meet your state's signing rules to be valid. A letter, by itself, does not transfer property or override a will, a trust, or a beneficiary form. Treat it as guidance your family can follow, not an order a court must enforce.

You may see "letter of instruction" used for a list of accounts and contacts too. Our guide to the emergency information list covers that practical, reference side in depth. This page focuses on the personal letter: your wishes, your messages, and the story around the paperwork. Many people write both and keep them together.

Letter of Instruction vs. Will vs. Emergency Information List

For the legal side, see what a will is and how to make a will. For who inherits what regardless of the letter, see what a beneficiary is.

What to Include in a Letter of Instruction

Write for the person who will read it on a hard day. Short, clear sections work better than long paragraphs. Consider these:

1. Who to contact first

List the people to call right away: family, your executor, your attorney, your employer, a close friend. Include phone numbers and relationships.

2. Where your documents are

Say where the original will, trust, powers of attorney, and insurance policies are kept. If you use a safe deposit box, say where the key is. Because a box held in only your name may be sealed after a death, keep a second copy of key papers at home.

3. Funeral and burial wishes

Record whether you prefer burial or cremation, any service you want, music, readings, and where you would like to be laid to rest. The FTC advises against putting funeral preferences only in your will, because a will often is not found or read until after the funeral. If you have prepaid, say so and name the funeral home. See how to prepay funeral expenses, cremation vs. burial, and how to plan a funeral.

4. Obituary and notifications

Note the details you would like in an obituary, and who should be told in person rather than by a notice.

5. Health care wishes and organ donation

Point to your health care proxy and living will, and state your wishes on organ donation. See what a living will is and health care proxy vs. power of attorney.

6. People and pets who depend on you

Name who you would like to care for a dependent, a child, or a pet, and why. A letter cannot appoint a guardian, but it can explain your reasoning. See guardianship for minor children and what happens to pets when an owner dies.

7. Accounts, debts, and digital life

Give the institutions and where to look, not every password. A password manager with a clear note about how your family can reach it is safer than a letter listing logins. See digital assets after death.

8. Items with special meaning

Describe heirlooms, photos, or keepsakes and who you would like to have them. This is where a letter helps most, but it has legal limits. See the next section.

9. A personal message

Some people add a few lines to family or friends. It is optional and can mean more than anything else in the letter.

A Sample Letter of Instruction You Can Copy

Use this as a starting point. Replace the brackets with your own details, delete what does not apply, and keep it in your own voice.

Leaving Items to Specific People: What the Law Says

Telling your family who should have your grandmother's ring feels natural. But a note alone usually does not decide it. If your will leaves "all my personal belongings" to one person, a handwritten list that names someone else may not be enforceable by itself.

Some states allow a separate writing for this purpose. Under Maine's version of the Uniform Probate Code (18-C §2-512), a will may refer to a separate list or written statement for tangible personal property. To be admissible, the writing must be in the person's handwriting or signed by them, and it must describe the items and recipients with reasonable certainty. It can be made before or after the will and changed later. Money is excluded. Other states follow different rules.

University of Minnesota Extension suggests describing each item and who you want to receive it, making several copies for family members and attorneys, and having your will or trust refer to the letter and describe its location. Ask an estate attorney how your state treats this, and consider whether a signed list should be referred to in your will.

Where the law does not make a list binding, it still shows your family what you want. Many families follow it. Talking with your heirs in advance helps prevent hurt feelings later.

How to Write and Store Your Letter

1. Start with the sample. Fill in only what you can answer today.
2. Be specific. Names, phone numbers, and locations are more useful than general statements.
3. Date it. A dated letter is easier to trust and to update.
4. Make copies. UMN Extension recommends several copies for family and attorneys.
5. Store it where it will be found. Penn State Extension treats a letter of instructions as a permanent record, kept with your other important papers. Tell your executor where it is.
6. Update it. Review it each year and after any major life change.

Our guide to estate planning for aging parents includes advice on how to start these conversations with a parent. If you are the one reading a letter after a loss, our executor guide and complete guide walk you through what to do next.

Frequently Asked Questions