Before You Call the Funeral Home
In the hours after a death, it can feel overwhelming to know what to do first — but a few key steps before contacting a funeral home can help you avoid rushed decisions you may later regret. Take time to locate any pre-planned funeral arrangements or written wishes the deceased may have left, as these documents will guide every decision that follows. If the death occurred at home and was expected, contact the hospice provider or attending physician first so that the death can be properly certified before the body is moved.
Gathering a small circle of trusted family members before making calls helps ensure that major decisions — such as burial versus cremation — are made collectively rather than under pressure. You are not required to call a funeral home immediately; in most states you have 24 to 48 hours, which gives you time to compare options and review any pre-existing plans.
Burial vs. Cremation: Understanding Your Options
The choice between burial and cremation is one of the most significant decisions you will make, and it has meaningful implications for cost, timing, and the type of memorial service you can hold. Traditional burial — which includes embalming, a casket, and a cemetery plot — is typically the most expensive option, with median costs ranging from $7,000 to $12,000 or more depending on the region. Cremation, by contrast, can cost as little as $700 to $3,000 for a direct service, making it a more accessible option for many families.
Many families choose cremation while still holding a meaningful memorial service, which can take place days or even weeks later and allows out-of-town relatives adequate time to travel. If the deceased left no specific instructions, consult closely with immediate family members and consider any religious or cultural traditions before making a final decision.
How to Choose a Funeral Home
You are not obligated to use the first funeral home you contact, and taking even a short amount of time to compare two or three providers can lead to significant savings and a better overall experience. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, every funeral home is legally required to provide itemized pricing over the phone, so you can obtain accurate quotes without visiting in person. Look for a provider that is transparent about costs, does not pressure you to upgrade services, and is willing to honor any pre-arranged plans or special requests.
Ask specifically whether they charge a fee for using a casket purchased elsewhere, as some funeral homes apply significant markups to third-party caskets. Reading online reviews and checking with your state funeral regulatory board for any complaints is a worthwhile step, especially if you are unfamiliar with local providers.
Understanding Funeral Costs (and How to Save)
The average cost of a funeral with burial in the United States is approximately $7,800 to $9,000, not including cemetery fees, headstone, flowers, or obituary publication costs. The single largest line item is typically the basic services fee, a non-declinable charge that covers the funeral home’s overhead; beyond that, every other service — embalming, viewing, transportation, death certificates — is individually priced and often optional. Requesting an itemized General Price List from each funeral home you contact allows you to compare true like-for-like costs.
Practical ways to reduce costs include choosing direct cremation or direct burial, purchasing a casket from a third-party retailer (which funeral homes must accept by law), limiting the number of paid staff at the service, and holding a memorial at a family home or place of worship rather than at the funeral home itself. Veterans may also be entitled to free burial at a national cemetery and additional benefits through the VA.
Planning the Funeral Service
A meaningful funeral or memorial service does not need to be elaborate or expensive — what matters most is that it reflects the personality and wishes of the person who died. Begin by deciding on the format: a traditional religious ceremony, a secular celebration of life, a graveside service, or a private gathering for immediate family. Once the format is chosen, identify a date and venue, then coordinate readings, music, speakers, and any visual tributes such as photo slideshows or memory boards.
Assign specific tasks to willing family members or close friends — someone to write or deliver the eulogy, someone to coordinate flowers, someone to handle the reception — so that no single person is carrying all of the logistical weight. If the deceased was active in a faith community, reaching out to a clergy member or spiritual leader early in the planning process can provide both practical guidance and emotional support.
Writing the Obituary
An obituary serves two practical purposes: it notifies the community of the death and the service details, and it preserves a brief record of the person’s life for family members and future generations. Most obituaries include the full name of the deceased, date and place of birth, date and place of death, surviving family members, a short life summary, and funeral or memorial service information. Newspapers typically charge by the word or line, so a concise, well-organized draft will help manage publication costs.
For a step-by-step guide and free template, see our companion article: How to Write an Obituary. You can also publish the obituary for free on platforms such as Legacy.com, Everplans, or directly through the funeral home’s website.
After the Funeral: Immediate Next Steps
Once the service is over, a separate set of administrative and legal tasks begins — and they can feel just as daunting as the funeral planning itself. In the days immediately following the service, you will need to order multiple certified copies of the death certificate (typically 8 to 12), which are required to notify government agencies, close financial accounts, and transfer or settle the estate. Most funeral homes will order these on your behalf at the time of arrangement.
Priority notifications include the Social Security Administration, the deceased’s bank and financial institutions, life insurance companies, and any pension or retirement account providers. If there is a will, it should be located and filed with the probate court in the county where the deceased lived. For a full breakdown of every step, see our complete guide: What To Do When Someone Dies.
Funeral Planning Checklist
Use this checklist to track your progress through the key tasks involved in planning a funeral. Each item represents a concrete action step, not just a consideration.
- Locate any pre-planned funeral arrangements or written wishes left by the deceased
- Obtain the death certificate from the attending physician or medical examiner
- Contact and compare at least two funeral homes using their itemized General Price Lists
- Decide between burial and cremation and confirm the decision with immediate family members
- Choose a date, time, and venue for the funeral or memorial service
- Order 8 to 12 certified copies of the death certificate through the funeral home
- Write and publish the obituary in a local newspaper and/or an online platform
- Notify the Social Security Administration and key financial institutions of the death