Writing an obituary while you're grieving is one of the stranger things grief asks of you. You're summarizing a whole life in a few paragraphs, under a deadline, while also planning a funeral and fielding phone calls.
A good obituary does not need to be long or literary. It just needs to tell people who the person was, how to honor them, and what practical details they need next.
- Start with the facts first, then add a few sentences that sound like the person.
- Double-check names, service details, and donation links before publishing.
- You can publish a short death notice quickly and expand it later if the family needs time.
This guide gives you a structure to follow so you don't have to start from nothing. Take what's useful and leave the rest.
What to Include in an Obituary
A well-written obituary typically includes the full legal name, dates and places of birth and death, a summary of the person's life and character, surviving family members, anyone who preceded them in death, and service details. Optional additions include educational background, career highlights, military service, hobbies, and any causes or organizations the person cared about.
Length is up to you. A simple announcement of a few sentences serves its purpose just as fully as a longer tribute. What matters is accuracy, tone, and that it feels true to the person. Avoid generic phrases that could apply to anyone — specific, personal details are what make an obituary meaningful.
The Standard Obituary Structure
Most obituaries follow a recognizable structure that readers expect — and following it helps ensure nothing is accidentally omitted. The standard flow moves from:
- The announcement of the death
- A brief biography (birth, life, character)
- Surviving family members
- Service details (date, time, location)
- Memorial donation request, if applicable
Treat each element as a separate paragraph to draft, then connect them. Many families find it easier to gather the factual information first — dates, family names, service logistics — and write the biographical narrative last.
Writing the Opening Sentence
The opening sentence is the most important line in the obituary. It sets the tone for everything that follows and is often the only part that appears in print previews.
Avoid the overly formal "It is with deep sadness that we announce..." — these constructions are clichéd and impersonal. Instead, try something like: "Margaret Chen, who spent forty years teaching high school biology and never once stopped making her students feel capable, died peacefully at home on March 15th, surrounded by her family." Even a single specific detail transforms a standard announcement into a tribute.
Capturing a Life Well-Lived
The biographical portion is where the person truly comes alive on the page. Focus on what made them who they were: their work and what they gave to it, the people they loved and how they showed it, the passions and hobbies that filled their time, the values they lived by.
Ask other family members and close friends to share one or two specific memories. These small contributions often yield the most vivid details. A few well-chosen specifics that feel genuinely like the person are worth far more than an exhaustive resume of facts.
Including Funeral Service Details
Service details should appear near the end so they are easy to find. Include the date, time, and full address; whether the service is open to the public or by invitation; and any reception details. If a livestream will be available, include that too.
If the family prefers memorial donations in lieu of flowers, name the specific organization and provide a website. "Donations to the American Cancer Society at cancer.org" is helpful. "Contributions to a charity of your choice" is not.
Where to Publish an Obituary
Most families publish in a local or regional newspaper, which charges by the word or column inch. Newspaper obituaries typically cost $200–$600 for a standard notice — call the obituary desk directly for current rates and submission deadlines before writing your draft. Deadlines are often 24–48 hours before publication.
Beyond print, several free online platforms allow obituaries and memorial pages at no cost: Legacy.com (syndicates to many newspaper websites), Ever Loved, and Everplans. The funeral home may also maintain a tribute page. For maximum reach, publish in both print and at least one free online platform.
Free Obituary Template
Use this as a starting point. Replace each bracket with the appropriate details, then expand the biographical section with specific memories.
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away on [Date] at [Location].
[He/She/They] was born on [Birth Date] in [City, State] to [Parents' Names].
[Add 2–3 sentences about career, passions, or defining qualities. Include one specific memory or detail if you can.]
[Full Name] is survived by [surviving spouse, children, siblings, etc.]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [predeceased family members].
A [memorial service / celebration of life / funeral] will be held on [Date] at [Time] at [Location: venue name and address]. In lieu of flowers, the family requests [donations to {organization} at {website} / expressions of sympathy].
Where to publish and share memorial details
If you need to publish quickly, start with one online memorial platform and one print option if the family wants newspaper coverage.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should an obituary include?
A complete obituary typically includes: the person's full name and age, date and place of birth, date and place of death, a brief life story (career, education, interests), names of surviving family members, any predeceased family members, and memorial service details (date, time, location). You may also include a photo, charitable donation requests in lieu of flowers, and a personal message.
How long should an obituary be?
For newspaper publication, a traditional obituary is typically 150 to 300 words, since newspapers charge by the word or line. Online obituaries can be as long as you like. A good rule: include everything that feels important, then edit for clarity. Length matters less than honesty and warmth.
How much does it cost to publish an obituary in a newspaper?
Costs vary widely. Large metro newspapers can charge $500 to $1,000 or more for a standard obituary with a photo. Smaller local papers may charge $50 to $200. Most charge per word or per line, so a concise draft reduces costs. Online platforms like Legacy.com, funeral home websites, and memorial platforms are typically free or low-cost.
Where can I publish an obituary for free?
Several platforms offer free obituary publishing: Legacy.com, the funeral home's website, and memorial platforms like Ever Loved and Elegy all allow free tribute pages. A Facebook post or announcement in a community group is also a common way to share the news at no cost. For wider reach, publish in both print and at least one free online platform.
Who writes the obituary?
Usually a close family member — often the spouse, adult child, or sibling. Some families divide the task, with one person drafting and others adding details. Funeral homes can also assist or provide templates. If writing feels overwhelming, start with a simple list of facts — full name, dates, family members, one or two defining qualities — and build from there.
We reviewed this page against official government, court, regulator, and primary-source materials where available. Exact procedures can still vary by state, county, institution, or provider.